This is the first post in a two-part series. Next week Ana will be sharing her own thoughts on sickness and identity.
I’d been sharing my feelings with you all my life—all my life.
But now I don’t know you anymore, and you don’t know me. I guess that’s life—guess that’s life.
We bond over simple things,
Like children holding hands.
We talk about music, blogs,
And things you said.
Maybe you still see me as a child inside.
And that’s not dead.
But I’m a new person when you come back
From traveling through sickness.
The world has changed.
I was the child stuck in between the past and future.
I guess that’s how I feel in every season.
And now I’m afraid of drowning here.
I’m in between.
What have you seen?
Sister, should I say through tears that I have missed you?
I’ve been; I’ve seen you, every step of the way.
But it was seeing through glass, reality TV, watching a movie.
But somehow that movie was a part of me.
I say I love personal history.
Just watch me caress my scars.
But have I lost the present in my fear?
Have my eyes left the Earth to chase the stars?
You are beautiful.
You are right here now.
You are still youthful.
I am still a child.
But we’re both so different
From the last time I touched you,
Felt your tears wash over my fingers.
We were both younger.
I want to re-meet.
My heart tugs–gravity–
A brotherly longing.
A desire. A hunger.
Let me re-meet you in another world.
In today’s world.