Prayer of a Psychopath

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Actions mean nothing,
Everything is empty.
It really hurts,
This reactionless love.
Maybe I deserve something!?

I see a death,
It’s just no breath.
What’s the point?
Please, just one tear,
My time is so near.

Void of love anoints,
An expanse of barrenness.
Can’t I give this world,
A taste of me?

I don’t understand what you mean,
When you want me to empathize.
Try on sympathy for size.

Don’t you get it?
I’m stuck in a pit
Trapped beyond where
A length of love could reach.
Do you think I care?

I’m an empty soul,
A man without regrets for ages.
No one can turn the pages,
Of the reign of lunacy in me.

I am an outcast,
Forgetting every second as it dies
There is no effect of the past

I am jealous of others
Those who feel pain
Dying friends and sick mothers
Can’t I feel a small bit?
Can’t I feel something!?
Till my heartbeat cease
Shower the guilt on me!
In my dry desert.

Can’t I just feel regret?
Can anything set?
I’m jealous of those,
Who cry into pillows
With a streaming, wet nose.
I need that.

Give me sorrow and pain,
Let me go insane!
Can’t you see,
That I want it?

Perhaps if I kneel,
At the throne, I can feel.
Surrender the past,
Give up my fear,
Surrender my mask.

Do I really have to keep,
Holding so dearly to this?
Did I really miss,
A chance at freedom?

Maybe I can feel,
And break that tight seal.
Maybe a tiny bit of joy,
Will blossom beautifully,
At the end of today.

3 Replies to “Prayer of a Psychopath”

  1. It’s been so wonderful to get to see your fight from dark places like these to becoming more and more the Rain Dancer you really are! He meets you in every season. Keep giving Him your moments of emotion and emotionallesness. There is always deeper!

  2. I’m glad that was last year on one day only but you did a good job on putting in a poem feelings that are not easy to express. Good job Peter ! 😊

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